Paris: Well here we are, having drinks at Sandrine’s;
Where, do you suppose, are our lovebird fiends?

Tuvok: If you are referring to the Captain and the Commander,
I must insist you stop this illogical banter.

Torres: Now, now, Tuvok, no need to get offended,
Tom is obviously quite blended.

Paris: Are you saying I’m drunk?
Gee, B’Elanna, who woulda thunk?

Kim: I thought we came here to discuss a certain romance
And maybe share a little dance…?

Seven: Dancing is irrelevant. Surely you must see,
The situation with the Captain and Chakotay is much more interesting to me.

Torres: Look! Over yonder! They’ve arrived!
And with unfinished business, judging from the look in their eyes…

Tuvok: They were conducting a personnel review,
And I do believe that they were going to fire you.

Paris: Ignore him, B’Elanna, he’s just jealous.
Or maybe we are being overzealous…

Seven: Naaaahhh.

Kim: Naaaahhh.

Torres: Whenever they’re around each other, they look like they’re in heaven…

Seven: Heaven is irrelevant—

All: Shut up, Seven!

Paris: It’s so obvious they’re in love, why won’t they just admit it?
All this business of dancing around their feelings, why don’t they just quit it?

Torres: Oh, they’re worried about the chain of command,
By far the stupidest excuse ever made in this land.

Seven: Their mating would not affect the hierarchy or this ship.
Nor would my giving Mr. Kim a fat lip.
(Kim removes his hand from Seven’s hip.)

Tuvok: I trust that Captain Janeway has her life in order,
And she does not need help from you lowly porters.

Paris: Looky! Looky! They’re holding hands!
Take that you wretched Vulcan man!

Kim: Oh my god, they’re coming over here!
Hide the wine, hide the beer!

Janeway: Good evening, everyone, I trust you are all well?

Paris: We are, Ma’am, we were just talking about bells!

Kim: Bells?

Torres: (Mutters) Oh, hell…

Janeway: Bells? Quite an odd topic for our matchmaking helmboy.
You know, watching you five debate over us is really quite a joy.

Tuvok: Captain, I must protest,
For I had nothing to do with this illogical mess.

Janeway: So noted, my trusty Vulcan.

Seven: Commander, I must say, your figure is rather hulking.

Chakotay: Yes, these pants are unusually tight,
But I spilled coffee on my normal pair last night.

Torres: I cannot let this silliness go any further!
If you two don’t profess your love, there will be murder!

Janeway: Now listen here…

Chakotay: Oh, dear, oh dear…

Paris: Come, now, there’s nothing to fear
This has been going on long enough—five years!

Janeway: Tom, this really isn’t any of your concern.
Juicy gossip is all you really yearn.

Kim: That’s not true!
We only want you to be happy, you lovebirds, you!

Chakotay: Kathryn, maybe they’re right.
Perhaps we should give up this tiresome fight.

Janeway: The Prime Directive
Is my sole objective.

Torres: Starfleet is miles away!
Come now, when will be your wedding day?

Neelix: Did someone mention a wedding?
Finally, an occasion for my leeola root pudding!

Tuvok: Hairy, smelly little man—

Kim: I resent that, you coldblooded Vulcan!

Tuvok: I was not referring to you, Mr. Kim.
I did not mean ‘Harry’, but ‘hairy’… as in him.

Paris: I’m sure none of you will object,
If I return to the original subject…

Chakotay: I, for one, will give in this time;
Kathryn, I love you. Will you be mine?

Janeway: Oh, spirits, I don’t know what to say!
Except, that on this glorious day—

Kim: Come on! Do you love him?

All: Stuff it, Mr. Kim!

Janeway: As I was saying, this is truly a shock.
When I first met you, I thought you were an arrogant jock.

Chakotay: And when I first met you, I thought you were frantic.
Too caught up in your pitiful Starfleet antics.

Torres: (snorts) How romantic.

Janeway: But I’ve grown since then, and when I state,
"I love you too"… I hope I’m not too late.

Chakotay: Starfleet antics, Maquis arrogance…
Shall we forget them and hold a celebration dance?

Janeway: It would be my pleasure, my dearest Chakotay.
As for the rest of you, I will double your pay!

All: Hooray! Hooray!
Replicator rations for days!

Paris: Ah, would you look at them go.
True love really does move slow.

Kim: I still can’t believe it’s true!
That they really do love each other! Can you?

Torres: It was as plain as my forehead ridge!
The way she touches him; The looks they exchange on the bridge…

Tuvok: I have also made observations
But none that would lead to this kind of declaration.

Seven: *points* What is the significance of that?

Paris: Good lord, they’re kissing!…It’s an old human act.

Seven: It seems rather irate…
Mr. Kim. Please demonstrate.

Kim: I.. uhh… I uhh… I…I…

Torres: *laughing* Look at Harry, he’s fit to die!

Paris: Well, my friends, remember this time
When we made the bells of love chime.

Torres: A toast to you, brethren,
For we have entered matchmaker’s heaven!

Seven: What is the relevance of—

All: Shut up, Seven.

Although it’s plain to see,
This story is really quite silly,
I hope you were thoroughly entertained
As many hours of sleep this claimed.
And to keep with the J/C Fan Fic trend,
You will understand when I say, "The End".