Champagne and Silk by Puck
	"Captain!" Tom Paris called as he jogged to catch up with Janeway. "Can I have a word with you?" Kathryn smiled at him. "Certainly. I was just on the way to my ready room." The two entered the bridge to find a blessed calm had taken over. It had been over a month since they had encountered any hostile species, and Christmas was only a week away. Janeway had nervously expected the bridge to be swarmed with holiday decorations by now, but it seemed that Tuvok had so far been able to distract Neelix from the top of the ship. She made a mental note to enter in a commendation on her trusty security chief's file. She nodded to Chakotay, who smiled back – those damn dimples –, and proceeded to her ready-room, Tom close on her heels. Before Kathryn could even take two steps, Tom had begun. "Captain, seeing as it's almost Christmas and all, I was wondering – " "Tom, save your strength. Caroling is simply not an option this year. Remember last Christmas, when Neelix's voice cracked the warp containment field? No, I don't think –" "It's not what you think, Captain! Not caroling." Tom said desperately. "All right then," Janeway pursed her lips and thought. "No, alcohol cannot be served in lieu of synthehol." "Not even close." He smirked, knowing full well that the captain knew that alcohol would somehow make its way into the eggnog as usual. Now she was intrigued. "No Alien-Babe-of-the-Week strippers?" She ventured. "Captain, really!" She winked. "No, I suppose B'Elanna wouldn't be too kind to you if you pulled that," she chuckled. "Are you kidding? She'd rip out my spine and use it to clean the plasma manifolds!" Janeway laughed and sat down in her desk, folding her hands. "All right, Tom, you've got my attention." She said easily. Tom grabbed a chair and sat down, pulling himself towards her desk as he whispered conspiratorially, "I think we should organize a Secret Santa!" He sat back and grinned, his blue eyes gleaming with excitement. Janeway stared at him. "I beg your pardon?" She blinked. Tom's jaw dropped. "You've never heard of a Secret Santa!?" He gasped. "It's one of the time-honored traditions of the holiday season!" Sudden realization passed over Janeway's eyes and she shook her head. "Tom, if this is some elaborate plot to get Tuvok into a jolly red suit with a white beard and a shiny belt buckle, I can assure you right now –" "No, no, no, no, no! Captain! A Secret Santa is a type of gift exchange. It's where everyone's name goes into a hat and everyone draws a name out of the hat, and that's who you get your gift for! The only catch is, no one is supposed to know who the gift is from, even after they get it. That's where the 'secret' part comes from." Tom waved his arms and gestured to embellish his point, only making Janeway's mood more comical. "Mr. Paris. Are you trying to convince me that you do not have some maniacal plot up your sleeve? That this request is just… a normal, harmless request?", she asked. Tom shook his head. "Captain, I swear! There is no ulterior motive here. I'm just trying to have some nice clean fun!" Janeway guffawed. "Uh huh," she quipped. Finally, seeing the pleading look in his eyes wasn't going to fade away, she set down her coffee cup and folded her arms. "All right, Mr. Paris, I'll let you do this one, on one condition," she stated formally. "In no part of this escapade of yours shall there be any evidence whatsoever of alcohol, embarrassing senior officers, or promiscuity. Understood?" Paris grinned and nodded eagerly. "Yes, Ma'am," he very nearly shouted. Janeway winced. "Dismissed," she said reluctantly, wondering what kind of mess she'd gotten herself into this time. An hour later, Tom appeared on the bridge and was passing around a power coupling filled with data chips. He sauntered over to Janeway and smiled enigmatically, thrusting the container at her. "Go ahead, Captain! And just in case, I'd like a blue Teletubby this year." "There are no blue Teletubbies!" Harry protested. Paris looked confused. "Oh.. well, then, how about a Hikaru Sulu action figure?" Janeway pulled out a chip and waved him on, hoping his name wouldn't appear on her console. If she had to be seen replicating a blue tellie-whatever or a Hikaru Sulu action figure, her career would surely be over. Sighing, she slipped the translucent green chip into her console and waited for the data to come up. Her eyes widened as she saw the big black letters appear: CHAKOTAY. Closing her eyes, Janeway forced herself not to look at her first officer, as she was sure she had turned deep red by this point. Good heavens, she muttered to herself. What in the hell am I supposed to get him?! Be calm, he'd be happy with everything. I could give him a new pair of socks and he'd be thrilled. She smiled at the thought, of Chakotay opening the exquisitely wrapped box only to find a pair of Starfleet issue socks. Only when she imagined him pulling them out, the socks mysteriously transformed into black silk boxers with a little heart right in the… middle. Kathryn stiffened and instantly looked around to see if anyone had noticed her reaction to her own irritating daydreams. Boxers, really now. She scolded herself, no more caffeine for you! Much to her relief, she was brought out of her troubled thoughts by a commotion behind her. She turned her head slightly to find Seven of Nine trying to wrestle the coupling away from Paris, who was trying his dangedest to get away from the drone. "Seven!" He yelled, grunting as he tugged at the coupling. "You can't do that! It's cheating!" "I must choose a different designation!" Seven stated heatedly, pulling at the data chips with all of her strength. "Why?!" Tom challenged, clearly agitated at someone trying to bend the rules. "Because..." Seven hesitated. "Because I do not have enough information to give an appropriate gift!" Another hefty pull. Finally, Tom gave one final tug and ripped the coupling out of Seven's hands, sending a few chips scattering to the floor. Seven leapt forward and scooped up a handful of chips. "Ha!", she crowed. "Now you don't know which data chip I had originally acquired!" She dumped all but one chip into the coupling. "Seven, that isn't fair!" Tom protested, annoyed. "It is perfectly fair. Now I shall –" Seven's eyes widened as she stared at her monitor. "No! This is impossible!" She shouted, slamming her fist down on the console. "What?" Tom asked bitterly. Seven looked away and glared at the wall. "I chose the same chip as before." She muttered. "Ha!" Paris crowed, mimicking Seven's earlier exuberance. "Cheaters never prosper!" With that, he bolted to the turbolift and shut the doors just before Seven could reach in and strangle him. Smiling, Janeway turned back to her console. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Chakotay looking at her, but when she turned to him he was staring thoughtfully at his viewscreen. "IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING! MERRY CHRISTMAS CAPTAIN!!!" Tom shrieked as he trotted to his station. Janeway felt her morning coffee headache grow larger exponentially with Tom's yell, and she deathglared at the back of his head. "Mister Paris," she growled. "Just what are those things on your head?" "Reindeer antlers, Captain!" Paris crowed, humming "Jingle Bells" as he went about his work. Janeway rolled her eyes and glanced at Chakotay. "You have the bridge, Commander. I'll be in my ready room." She rubbed the bridge of her nose as she went to her office, wondering what exactly she could do to Paris for quadrupling her headache. "No matter," she chuckled. "Coffee, black!" He eyes glinted as she sipped at the stewing beverage, morning reports in hand. She had just settled into her desk when the door chime signaled. "Come in," she called, exasperated. Her exasperation turned to shock, followed immediately by warmth and security, when Chakotay walked in, grinning and holding a large package. "Merry Christmas, Kathryn," he greeted her warmly, and she instantly began to feel her headache shrink. "Merry Christmas, Chakotay." She replied, smiling. "What's this," she cried as he plopped the package onto her desk. "Your Christmas present, from me." He explained good-naturedly. "I thought you may as well open it before this evening's festivities, what with the Secret Santa and all." She blanched. "Oh, Chakotay, you're so kind!" she exclaimed, while thinking, you idiot Kathryn, why didn't you think to get him a separate present! Now he'll know the boxers are from you for sure! She smiled nervously as she pulled the delicate bow off and watched Chakotay watching her. As the last of the wrapping and tissue paper fell away, her eyes widened. In the box, nestled in tissue paper, lay two crystal champagne flutes, gleaming and shining with a slight hint of a rainbow dancing through the stems. "Chakotay!", she cried. "Do you like them?" he asked eagerly. "I thought you could use some new glasses… even though all you ever use is coffee mugs." He gestured good-naturedly at her cup. "Chakotay, they're amazing!" Kathryn said, transfixed by the twin flutes. "Thank you," she said as she threw her arms around him and hugged him lovingly. "Let me get you your present," she said wickedly. Chakotay looked surprised. "You got me a present too?" he said dumbly. "Of course! What kind of grinch do you think I am?" she retorted as she raced to the other room to think of something to give him. Suddenly, a slow evil smile spread across her face as she turned to the replicator. "One pair of black silk pajamas, men's size extra large, wrapped in silver paper with a blue bow." She whispered, checking to see if he'd moved from his chair in the main room. The package materialized. "Thank you," she whispered to no one in particular. She breezed into the main room, holding the package as if nothing was wrong. "Here you are," she smiled and handed him the box. He smiled up at her as he tugged at the paper. "Kathryn!" He said as he lifted the silk pajamas out of the box and stroked them. "These are exquisite!" "I noticed you've seemed tired lately on the morning shift, I thought maybe these would make your nights a little more comfortable." Janeway explained, proud of her quick thinking. The more she thought about it, the more she liked her impromptu gift. Especially when she thought about them gracing his bronzed skin… "Thank you," he said sincerely, wrapping her up in a bear hug. "I'll get back to the bridge. Do you mind if I leave these here for now? I don't know what the crew would think about me walking out with these in hand." He winked. "Oh, of course! I'll drop them by your quarters on my way to the mess hall this evening." She smiled and took the pajamas. "All right, thank you again," he said softly. "You're welcome, and thank YOU for the lovely flutes. We'll have to replicate some champagne one of these days so we can use them at dinner." She smiled as he nodded and grinned, walking back to the bridge. The rest of the shift passed without incident, and at 1700 hours Janeway handed the bridge over to Harry and hurried to her quarters to prepare for the Christmas festivities. She had just begun to decide which dress to wear when her door chimed. "Come in," she called, to excited to be annoyed at the intrusion. When B'Elanna poked her head in the door, Janeway gave her a wide smile. "You look wonderful, B'Elanna!" She raved, and held up the three candidates. "Blue, red, or green?" She asked gleefully. B'Elanna studied the sleek dresses and mentally assessed the colors with the captain's eyes. "Definitely blue," she responded. Kathryn grinned and darted to the bathroom to change. "Replicate yourself something to drink, B'Elanna, I'll be right out," she called from the bathroom. "No thanks, I'm fine," B'Elanna responded. "When are Tom and Chakotay supposed to get here? I thought I was late." "Knowing Chakotay and his perfectionism, as well as Tom and his lack of punctuality, I should expect that it will be well into the morning hours when our escorts arrive." Kathryn joked. She appeared in the doorway. B'Elanna grinned. "You look lovely, Captain," she said excitedly. "Chakotay won't be able to stand still!" She quipped. Janeway blushed. In the messhall, the festivities were in full swing by the time Tom, Chakotay, B'Elanna and Kathryn arrived. It turned out that the reason for their tardiness was that Neelix had an 'emergency' situation with the Christmas tree - it caught fire - and needed Tom and Chakotay's help - he didn't know how to use the extinguisher. B'Elanna and Kathryn had smothered grins at the thought of the little Talaxian running around the messhall panicking as Tom and Chakotay struggled to put out the blaze. Fortunately, the tree had "only sustained minor damage and was fit to return to its stand," as Seven put it. Helping herself to some punch, Janeway made her rounds, greeting the crew and wishing them "Merry Christmas" until her throat hurt. By the time she rejoined Chakotay, Tom was clinking his glass and announced a toast. "I suppose I should make this speech really good since we aren't allowed to have alcohol and make a proper toast," he chided, grinning at Janeway. She glared at him playfully as a chuckle ran through the crowd. Paris smiled. "Okay, here goes." He cleared his throat. "To the intrepid crew of the Federation Starship Voyager," he intoned. "May we bask in our diversity, grow through the tough times, cherish the good, and never break apart." He raised his glass toward Janeway and Chakotay. "To family." He winked. A chorus of "hear, hear!" rippled through the crowd as glasses tinked. Janeway and Chakotay raised their glasses. "To family," they both repeated. Janeway smiled at the young Paris, pleased with his growth over the past five years. "And now!" He shouted, clearly excited. "It's time for the Secret Santa! Everyone, you can find your gifts on the tables in the back. Have fun!" The tables were heaped with elaborately wrapped packages, and Janeway was touched to find hers wrapped in an exquisite emerald green paper and with shining red bow. She carried it over to the table where she and Chakotay and Tom and B'Elanna were seated, waiting for them. Chakotay soon joined her, carrying the familiar package she had wrapped earlier, followed by B'Elanna and Tom, each holding a large box wrapped with festive paper. As Tom tore open the package, Janeway watched Chakotay carefully as he slid off the blue bow and began gently pulling at the paper. She absently tugged at her own paper before she realized he'd realize just who his new clothing item was from if she kept staring. To keep her distracted, she turned her eyes to Tom, who had just pulled out a strange… something. "Wow!!!" He cried. "A Hikaru Sulu action figure!!!" The whole room broke into gales of laughter as he proudly held up his gift. "Thanks, whoever you are!" He called out, and immediately went to intoning he hero's voice as he moved the doll around on the table. Harry walked over, smiling. "I told you, they don't make blue teletubbies! So I went for the Sulu action figure." "This was from you? Thanks Harry!" Tom was too delighted to notice that Harry had spoiled the secret. "Look what I got!" Harry crowed. He held up a large Starfleet issue case and opened it to reveal a brand new set of musical programs. Inscribed on the inside of the case were the words, "To Starfleet, with grudging love, Maquis." He winked at B'Elanna as he called out "Thank you, whoever!" Tuvok joined the table holding his present with reverence. "What did you get, Tuvok?" Janeway asked amiably. "A book entitled, "Borg Lateral Thinking Puzzles". He replied, flipping through the pages. "Allow me to give an example: 'What has three legs but cannot walk?" "Uh, you've stumped me," Janeway admitted. Tuvok flipped through the answers until he found the right one. His eyebrow was nearly thrown off of his head. "Intriguing," he muttered as he wandered away, working out the problem in his head. Just as Janeway was about to call after him to find out the answer, Chakotay gasped and carefully took out his present. Kathryn glanced over casually. "Black silk boxer shorts!" She laughed, trying as hard as she could to sound aloof. "Someone must really have it in for you, Chakotay." He gazed at her, awestruck. "They'll go great with some pajamas I just got," he said just as casually, eyeing her and grinning. "Thank you!" He called over his shoulder, never looking away. B'Elanna pulled out a small box and opened it up. Her gasp turned heads throughout the entire room as Tom leaned into her and whispered "What do you think?" She took the enchanting necklace and gingerly held it in her hands. "Tom.." She said softly. "Hey, who said it was from me?" He chuckled as he hugged her. "Thank you," she said softly, running her fingers over the diamonds. Kathryn looked at her package and realized she'd barely made a dent in unwrapping it. She quickly tore off the paper and lifted out a large object wrapped in tissue paper. She could feel the crews' eyes on her and she slowly unwound the light paper and pulled out… a bottle of champagne. Attached with a delicate red ribbon was a small card. When she opened it up she could feel her eyes swimming with tears: "To the only Captain I'll ever love. Merry Christmas." Chakotay looked at the bottle and whistled. "Wow, 2335. Nice ferment," he commented, studying her face. She tucked the card into her pocket and stared at him. "Excellent ferment. It'll go great with some champagne flutes I just got," she smiled at him and rested her head on her hand, gazing at his eyes. Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other, then back at their two entranced commanding officers. "Uh, B'Elanna, it sounds like the band's started, would you care to dance?" He asked quietly, nodding at the two frozen people across from them. B'Elanna smiled knowingly. "I'd love to," she breathed. With that, they were gone, leaving the captain and the commander to stew in each other's gaze. Finally, Kathryn spoke. "You know," she said slowly, a mischievous grin spreading over her face. "I'd kill to see you in those boxers." Chakotay smiled. "And I'd kill to see you in this dress again." He said evenly. Their moment was interrupted by Neelix streaking past, shrieking for help. Janeway turned slightly to see Seven stalking after him, clutching a bright pink ballerina tutu in her hand. "Seven!" Neelix shouted over his shoulder as he tried to weave through the crowd. "I went through the database! I thought you LIKED dancing!" Janeway broke into laughter and rested her hand over Chakotay's. "Come on," she said, pulling him up. "Let's go see what everyone ended up with this year." "I think we should make this Secret Santa thing a ship tradition," Chakotay suggested. "Me too," she grinned happily as she went off to join the crew in celebrating the best Christmas she'd ever had.