| The First Paragraph by Teekay |
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When people browse books they are thinking of buying, they sometimes open it at a random place and start reading, trying to get a feel for the book. You as the author have no control over this and can only hope that they've hit upon a page that they like. One thing you as the author do have control over, however, is the first paragraph of your story. With a few sentences, you can grab the readers' attention, introduce setting, character or characters, genre, style. In a way, it is similar to the pre-credit "hook" of a TV show, designed to leave the viewer / reader want to continue watching / reading. Probably every writer knows the feeling of seeing blank page - or blank Word document, these days - and not knowing how to begin. Ways past this problem are discussed somewhere else; for now, let's assume that you've got your story and written the first draft, maybe even the second. Now, you know what the story is about and how you're telling it, and now is the time to return to your first paragraph and polish it until it shines and attracts readers. Shared Universes vs Your Own Creation Even though the same basic rules apply to both, we're going to discuss these two settings seperately, because each comes with its very own problem areas. Writing in a "Shared Universe" Setting your story in a shared universe such as Star Trek, Star Wars or any other TV or book universe makes your job easier and more difficult at the same time, and for exactly the same reason: Your readers already have a pretty good image in their heads about setting, characters and basic rules of the universe. Imagine you're writing a story set in the Star Trek universe, and this is your first sentence: Kirk stood on the bridge of the Enterprise, the hums and clicks and beeps an insignificant backdrop to the view on the forward screen.Now, at first glance, this seems to be easy: Kirk's on the bridge, and there's something uncommon on the viewscreen. However, depending on your readers, this sentence evokes different images: Kirk can wear three different uniforms (TOS, TMP, or later movie uniforms), he can be Captain Kirk or Admiral Kirk, or even Ensign Kirk or Retired Civillian Kirk, and it's not even certain which Enterprise you're referring to. At this moment, the story can go in a million different ways. Now is the time to refine the image in your readers' minds so that it's as close to what you see and where you want to go as possible. So, let's imagine that you're telling the story of Ensign Kirk on his first day of duty. This is the first time young Jimmy stands on the bridge of the Enterprise, the finest, most state-of-the-art ship in the Fleet, which is most likely in orbit around Earth, picking up new crew. Kirk stood on the bridge of the Enterprise, the hums and clicks and beeps an insignificant backdrop to the stunning view on the forward screen. He had dreamt of this moment, of seeing Earth like this, for a long time. The turbolift doors closed behind him, and a slightly amused voice woke him from his reverie. "Ensign Kirk, welcome to the bridge", his Captain said from the center seat.To reinforce this unusual episode in Kirk's life, we've let Kirk stay in Limbo for the two sentences, and when we reveal that this is not, in fact, Captain Kirk but Ensign Kirk, this surprises our readers and makes them remember. Their expectations have been disappointed - hopefully in a way that will make them want to read on. If your story is set in a known frame, say, between two episodes of a TV series, you have a pretty good shorthand for defining this setting. Put something out of that episode, or a repercussion of it, into the first paragraph. For example, you could say things like: "Sisko went over the report, absentmindedly rubbing his hand where it still smarted from the impact on Q's chin." Ah, Deep Space 9, immediately after "Q-Less". "After the destruction of Skaro, the Daleks were looking for a new home." Doctor Who, after the events of "Remembrance of the Daleks". "Zhaan opened her eyes. Something had disturbed her meditation, something, or someone. She looked around her cabin on Moya, but there was no-one there." Farscape, in the first three seasons - not a prequel, because then Zhaan would have said "cell", not "cabin". And even if you are not writing about known characters, but only use the shared universe as your playing field, you have a lot of hints you can give your readers about where and when your story is set without having to resort to first paragraphs that read like the introductory text to the Star Wars movies - which set up the movies perfectly, but your story doesn't have a darkened cinema, popcorn and amazing music to accompany it. You can always have more elaborate descriptions of places, times and characters later in your story, you don't have to tell everything in the first paragraph, or even the second. The first paragraph is there to quickly tell the readers where and when they are and who this is about, to make them curious, and to grab their attention firmly. Writing in your own Universe The same holds true for a story which is set in your own universe. Use the first paragraph to make a first impression on your readers. But this time, you have the added freedom - or the added problem - of not having a common ground with your readers as far as the story universe is concerned. This means that you have to be even more careful that the information you're giving out is the information you want your readers to receive. Say you're writing in a medieval fantasy setting, and your main character walks around a city she knows well, on her way to meet someone. In late summer, the city of Tirsa always smelled to high heaven. Pouri picked her way carefully through the dirty streets, hoping for the autumn rains to come and wash them clean. She deftly avoided an ox-drawn cart and stopped only briefly, wiping her sweaty brow, to listen to the news the Town Crier was shouting out in his hoarse voice. They were still looking for Princess Ralira. In Pouri's opinion, any princess worth her salt would have kicked the bandits where it hurt instead of letting herself be abducted, but then she herself would be out of a job. She was on her way to meet her new colleagues, and her new boss, all of them mercenaries. In six sentences, we let the readers know: - the time and place (late summer, a city with little hygiene, ox-drawn carts, town criers, mercenaries and a feudal system, all of which says "Medieval Fantasy") - the main character (Pouri, supposedly a mercenary who joins a group to go and find the abducted Princess. She knows a bit about the town and has lived there for a few years, hence the references to the city "always" smelling in summer, and the autumn rains. She also has opinions about the way a woman should act; whether that is the general opinion is not yet clear.) - what will probably happen (the meeting with the other mercenaries and their boss; interaction with the other mercenaries; the mission to find and free the princess and resulting problems) That's quite a lot for six sentences! And at the same time, we give information for more than one sense: We see dirty streets and the ox-cart, smell the stench, feel the warmth of late summer, hear the hoarse voice of the Town Crier. When you write, take care to appeal to all the senses, and especially so in the first paragraph. Clichés - Use and Avoidance The first rule of clichés is: Don't use them. The second rule is: If you use them, make sure you know why and how you use them. There's rarely a rule in writing that can not be broken if you know what you're doing. Clichés are clichés because they work, but they are in constant danger of being overused and hence powerless. A cliché can be used as a shorthand for a genre or type of story - dark detective, for instance, science-fiction, humour, etc. But more often than not, tired clichés don't work. Play with clichés and turn them upside-down, or make up your own signs for what you want to achieve with a cliché, and your story and your readers will be happier. General Tips Use short sentences in your first paragraph. You supply a lot of information here, don't make your readers have to sort through long sentences at the same time. Don't overdo the information. You have the rest of your story to show what you want to show; use the first paragraph for a quick first impression. If you introduce a character, have it be a main, or the main character. Choose a viewpoint and tense and stick to that. You want to grab and hold the readers' interest, not confuse them. Quick Excercises Take your favourite books, and read only the first paragraph. You know what happens next - how much of that is told in the first few sentences? Go into a library or bookshop, and read only the first paragraph of any book you don't know. What do you think is going to happen next? How, and how much, does the author say? Does this first paragraph hold your interest, and why? Write only first paragraphs with five to seven short sentences. Set up a story in your first paragraph. Try to make your readers want to read more. Show this paragraph to others and have them tell you what they think will happen. Does this match your intention? |