Life Within A Box by MTabek An essay on Homosexuality in the Media written in May of 2002
	On one stormy night, a family sits at home watching the television together. Flipping through the channels, hoping to find something interesting, the parents happen upon a sitcom dealing with a homosexual person and homosexuality in general. Disgusted and yet even embarrassed, they quickly flip past and onto something else. Meanwhile, in another part of town, a gay couple flips through the channels on their tv. They too happen across the same sitcom that the family did. Unlike the parents, though, they are overjoyed to see gays being represented on TV, so they turn up the volume and lay down, excitedly wanting to know what is going to happen to these characters. Two different situations, both with their own views, but in the same town, dealing with the same subject matter. The media has always been known for relating information from a certain target location (where an incident or event occurred) to a wide range of people within a very large area (the viewers). It seems though, that as people become attached to living in a certain place, all they come to care about is what happens in their own town. With the exception of horrific worldwide events, people in Washington State would not care about all the everyday events, say like a city fair, that is taking place in Miami, Florida. Like with most everything else in our society though, there are exceptions to this. There are some topics that affect everyone in our nation, and in every one of our communities, even if they are not publicly spoken about. Homosexuality is one of these issues. It seems in society that if the issue of the gay population comes up in the media, all it likes to focus on is the bad things. As Michael Staeb commented in an interview, the media only seems to be interested in the GLBT [The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered] community when something drastic occurs (i.e. physical violence, demonstrations, etc). Positive reinforcement of equality for GLBT people comes only when one of those drastic events occur. This is confirmed within the idea that the biggest news from the media always seems to be the bad things. Top news can never be made, say, by a new park being finished, but only by another one being torn down or destroyed. Why is this? Possibly from the human condition which seems to have a love of destruction, as long as it doesn't harm the individual watching it. Even still though, with the destruction of the old park, people sometimes come together in their desire to build another new one and to help fix the problems caused by the old park. They make improvements. Purchase newer, safer play equipment, and outfitting of basketball courts, etc. In a way, his can (yet doesn't always happen to) be related to the gay cause as well. As Michael said above, "Positive reinforcement of equality...comes only when one of those drastic events occur." He thinks that, "the media is helping slightly, but only in baby steps." Essentially, even though the media is focusing on only the bad events involving homosexuals (like attacks, etc.), good can still come of it if people come together to help one another. Still, it seems incredibly difficult for our society to see this clearly. An example of this would be a movie titled The Laramie Project, which is an HBO Original Picture that aired in early 2002. This movie focused not on the attacking and subsequent murder of Matthew Shepherd himself, but the action and reaction of the entire town he lived in. In the movie, great emphasis was created to show that when the media took hold of the story, and took this small town out of their complacency, they (the people of Laramie) strode right into a land of chaos. Laramie, Wyoming was a small quiet town. Then with this incident, the community was rocked to its very foundation. Half the town wanted no one to ever know about this, they wanted to get it over and done with, and then never have to speak of it again. They seemed to feel that all this negative attention was becoming a blemish on Laramie. Still, another half wanted the whole world to know what happened, so that good could come of it. These people wanted to show the world and say 'see, this is what we've gone through, and we want to make sure that it never happens again.' It was safe to presume that this town would never remain the same. In The Laramie Project, we were told that when Matthew first came to Laramie, he was shy and scared, but still excited. He recognized that being a gay man trying to fit into a small town was harder than in a big city. Still, he was polite, clean-cut, and had manners that just about everyone seemed to admire. A friend commented in the movie how, "He made you feel great. He was very happy about himself." Then, as is known, the unthinkable happened. Two young men (whom the town always said were "good boys") kidnapped and murdered Matthew one October night, because they "wanted to teach him a lesson" (Laramie Project). The other part of the town though, wanted to make sure that when the media came through and reporters swarmed the streets, their reactions were portrayed as they really were, and not have society judge the town by a small portion of it. While one part demonstrated with signs (like that "Matt is in Hell" and that gays are evil, etc) at Matt's funeral, one steadfast group of people took it upon themselves to show the world that there was good left in Laramie; that this is a good town. Thus was born Angel Action. Dressed all in white, these people-their wings spread wide-would surround protestors. When the cameras came to film the protestations what they would see instead would be these men and women in white protecting the town from the hatred that could destroy it by showing the world that good people still lived in Laramie. This positive action, in Angel Action, is something that should be put into effect worldwide. Imagine the results if instead of fighting, these groups of people put directly into question the idea of racism, and sexism, and all the other forms of discrimination. Showing that these things can be so easily defeated, how different might the world be? Possibly for the good, possibly for the not so good, we may never know. Not unless action is taken. While it's starting to happen, it's going at an incredibly slow pace. At the end of The Laramie Project, when the reporters are packing up and going home, they showed the final interviews they did. Explanations of how nothing had come of Matthew's death, no actions had been taken in the Government to help give safety in these matters. If Matt's death was not sad enough, this is even sadder. All it shows is that our society still has so far to go before we can finally come together as a more unified and whole nation. Continuing with the notion of Real Life being shown on television, the next logical step is to evaluate one of the more popular shows out there: MTV's The Real World. Over the seasons, our society has gotten glimpses inside the lives of 7 strangers brought together to live under one roof. Unsurprisingly, this has brought about many confrontations, including many involving gay/lesbian issues. The best examples seem to Real World: New Orleans and this season's Real World: Chicago. In New Orleans, we were shown the life of Danny, a 22 year old gay man from Alabama, who was shown in perhaps one of the best lights of gay America. Being away from his long-term boyfriend Paul-who could never be shown as he is in the military-Danny had an opportunity to 'cheat', 'fool around', and whatever else is termed about the stereotyped, yet sometimes true, promiscuous gay population. During the show's run, we saw Danny lose his inhibitions, but he never once wavered in his devotion to Paul. This is what many people in our society fail to see. Many gay men are coupled in a completely monogamous relationship, while still even others in this day and age have become what is termed the new "abstinate generation." The season that Danny was on The Real World was a marking stone in television helping in a truly major way to increase the awareness of GLBT people within our society. It has shown all who watched it that gay men can be just as loving, and just as devoted as in any other relationship between two heterosexual people. Similarly, on this season of The Real World, Chris has been an awesome rolemodel for the gay population. Chris lives by the view that no one should live his or her life by a label. Through his actions, he has shown himself to be kind, caring, a bit shy, but very moral as well. It's these ideals that need to be shown to our society. For some reason, it seems that only the views held in opposition to this have become the social 'norm' that have been accepted. Shows like The Real World have helped to change the views our society holds in regard to homosexuality. Still, it is not much; considering the amount of time social views have had to fester within themselves and grow into something evil and mean-spirited. A second show on television helps in another way; showing an example of the success a gay person in our society can still achieve. As disliked as the GLBT community is in our society, they happen to be some of the most successful people in this country. As such, the show Will and Grace, which shows on NBC, portrays that well. Will is described as a "...successful Manhattan lawyer [who is] likable, handsome and charming...." His attitude toward life is just to enjoy the time he has, just having fallen out of what was a long-term relationship himself, so he has become more tempered than some in the real gay community. Similarly to this, in Showtime's original series Queer as Folk (QAF), the character of Brian is a very successful businessman within an advertising agency. Again, this helps to relate that many gay people are very successful in a society that just can't seem to accept their sexuality. Still, one of the problems heterosexuals seems to say about gays is their 'flaming' attitude, or their flaunting of a homosexual lifestyle. Here again, television helps to calm this 'firestorm' down. Many years ago, when Ellen was still shown on television, Ellen DeGeneres made it clear that her show was to be a showcase of homosexual life. At the time, that is what our society needed to see, and it was awesome that she was indeed able to create such turmoil in society about this, for the turmoil she created was one of a conversationalist. In Will & Grace, though, the conversation has gone from one of heated debate, to a calmer intoning and reiteration of main facts. As described by Focus on the Family, is a fact that "It [Will & Grace] unashamedly attempts to establish homosexuality as a cultural non-issue. [While] Ellen screamed 'Look at me, I'm gay!' Will & Grace calmly intones, 'Of course I'm gay, why wouldn't I be?'" Not all shows like to stay on this path of self-righteousness however. Queer as Folk likes to push the envelope of acceptance and limitations of television. As such, QAF, as the show in referred to, has become a staple to all of Gay America. It confronts, head on, the issues of intolerance and hatred in our society. For example, in the season finale for QAF's first season, they had a straight jock attack Justin, the high school senior in the show. Sadly enough, and yet in a good way, this needed to be shown, because it does happen. In this country, and indeed in schools worldwide, gay bashings happen on an everyday basis, most of the time with little to no consequences against those that do the bashing. QAF also takes other routes causing mass confrontations with societal views. Showtime is known for its slogan of "No Limits", and for good reason too. Shows on these channels have no need to conform to television rules of conduct. As such, they show things how they really are. In this instance, QAF can almost be said to show the bad side of the homosexual lifestyle. By showing men actually performing sexual acts, they bring the viewer face to face with the stark reality of what it actually is like to be gay. Point being to bring home full force the reality that gays are real flesh and blood people, they have feelings, they love like anyone else, yet homosexuals are different, and need to be accepted as such. It should be a basic moral truth in this case that, "...gay culture should never be synonymous with hatred or violence..."(Family.org). Why is it though that some just can't understand a fact as simple as this? Why is it a show that deals with homosexuality can win People's Choice Awards, Golden Globes, American Comedy Awards, and numerous others, but not be truly respected by so many? (NBC.com). The answer remains elusive. Intolerance and hatred must be battle within the minds and souls of the individual. Even with the amount of shows on television, including those above which have main characters who are homosexuals, there are so many who just can not understand how important it is to respect those that are different. Like with Matthew, his attack was totally uncalled for, he never did a thing to bring the hatred down upon him that Aaron and Russ called upon to do what they did. So why do some people believe that this is the only way to cleanse their cities of homosexuals? Fear. It all boils down to fear. Fear of difference, fear of change. The same fears that kept black in servitude for centuries. The same fears that backed the Nazi's genocide of the Jews. The same fears that caused the Taliban to destroy the World Trade Center. The same fears that has been infused with every single person since the dawn of time. Instead of taking this fear and trying to conquer it with knowledge though, instead of actually taking the time to understand a person in their difference, people seem to take their fear and use it as a weapon to destroy that which they hate. What is never realized though, is what doing this will lead to. Hatred begets violence, which in turn creates even more hatred. There is a wonderful line from Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, in where Jedi Master Yoda tells a young Anakin Skywalker that, "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering...." So how is it possible now for us to reverse this path toward destruction? First it for as individuals to re-evaluate how we would treat people were we in that same situation. Secondly, it would be an active, day-to-day enacting of those new ideals. Thirdly, an Act of God. As of now, there is no hope on the horizon. People are showing no course towards change, and not even our Government is willing to help out. As it did with blacks, it may eventually come down to a passive resistance for getting rights to our protection. Though the gay cause may not be as dire as was with the blacks, it is no less deadly in magnitude. Even now, after years since Matthew's death in Laramie, Wyoming, nothing has been enacted by congress on either a wide or local scale. It is still unknown when something will finally be done. So as it was with the family, whose parents quickly flicked past the channel that stormy night, so is our society. While some do as they did, others will continue the fight, alongside Angel Action, or even just on their own with something as simple as being kind toward others. Just like in Laramie, part of our nation will side with the protestors, complaining about the 'evil' of the GLBT society. The other part, though, will do, and indeed already enact what is right; they love others for who they are and what they do, not just what goes on behind the closed doors. They are the ones that, when coming across the show, will stop and watch, and think, about what these characters are actually trying to tell us across this small screen. That is the future that is needed, that must be what awaits us. If not, then what has society done, other than open up a Pandora's Box that it means never to fix again...