Poetry Contest Entry

Men And Women

~By Craig Mallon

It's great being male my friend, don't you see?
No need to crouch, I can stand when I wee!
I don't have to fuss around all day with my hair,
Or wonder if my bum looks big in whatever I wear,
My friends can't make me sit down and cry,
If they don't notice my haircut I don't wonder why,
I don't spent my whole life desperate to be married,
I can drink two beers and not need to be carried,
We men will never know of childbirth pain,
You can use us like objects, we'll hardly complain!
We don't call on help just to open our jars,
Or get jeered at whenever we drive our cars.
It's great to be male, just let me say,
Because of my gender they'll increase my pay,
My greatest gift from the moment of birth,
Was to be a member of the best sex on the earth
Oh no my friend, how wrong can you be?
It's great to be a woman, just look at me!
We're not covered with hair from out feet to our breasts,
I can get almost anything just using my chest,
We don't think we're dying when we catch a cold,
Or drool after school girls when we're gray and old,
We don't use cheap lines just to try and impress you,
Our intentions aren't solely to try and undress you,
We can walk in high heels and you men all the while,
Are stumbling around with no grace, poise or style,
It's great to be a woman, it's true,
We'll always be kinder and smarter than you

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